so...

[cynicalism.livejournal.com]

for a while i felt so out of touch with fandom that i figured it might be best to simply shut HI down since i was never going to write fic again. and then the nostalgia set in. because, like so many fandom loves in the past, i think a part of me will always be fond of JE and all the memories i've had and people i've met because of it, even if i'm not exactly active in fannish pursuits. what i miss most is probably the ability to brighten a friend's crappy (or even no-so-crappy) day with a few words thrown together and a lot of love.

i do love writing and will always love writing and can hopefully make some kind of living out of writing, but i guess i don't need to write fanfic for myself anymore. but as long as my friends enjoy what i write (if it ever becomes less of a gift and more of a nuisance, please tell me. the last thing i want to do is write crappy things and then dedicate it to you poor unwilling lot. my experience with exchanges has taught me what it's like to have fic you don't like written for you. so. yeah...really. just tell me. i'll understand.) i just might continue ficcing here and there. and, as long as you guys continue to watch & read, i'll post it here too.

i know i don't say it often enough, but i really am thankful and amazed at anyone watching this modest little writing dump. my range is considerably smaller than many other writers in this fandom (limited to about 1&1/2 groups + girls that half the fandom population couldn't care less about) which is why i'm that much more surprised at the 70 of you still watching (even after months of no activity whatsoever). really, thank you so much. even if you later decide to stop watching or stop caring, thank you for being with me thus far. it means more than you will ever know. ♥

i don't know how much longer HI will last or when people will get sick of me *chuckle* but here's to a little while longer. ♥

lost
yamashita tomohisa. horikita maki. (kamenashi kazuya). 777 words. g.
--a little something written for calledinvain a while back, because we both needed a nostalgic shot of otp love. sort of. yamashita tomohisa has a reputation.

( I'm stronger than Nobuta, she says. )